Michael Jordan, 50 years old now, says he's "not a Twitterer, not a twerker." But even in retirement, he apparently does stay current by partaking in at least one sacred rite of the American higher education complex: beer pong.
That's right — photos surfaced on Wednesday morning of His Airness at a Miami hotel dusting off the ol' jumpshot in the honorable name of inebriation. The photos — remarkable for any basketball fan on multiple levels, which we'll get into soon — caused quite a stir on the sports web.
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Thankfully, Twitter and Instagram users were on hand to document the scene, otherwise we'd never have known this even happened. We don't know much about how this situation came about, other than that it all went down at the Ritz-Carleton in Miami, Fla. Nevertheless, we now know Mike on a deeper level than ever before.
We know he is seriously doing retirement right:
of course my mom is playing beer pong with Michael Jordan in Miami why wouldn't she be? pic.twitter.com/fAd5FAHinf
— Blair Boghos (@blairboghos) November 9, 2013
We know he's one of the very few humans who can play beer pong in a shirt featuring his or her own logo:

But most importantly, we know he cheats. Look at that elbow! Way over the line:

Not that true hoop-heads (or 1998 NBA Finals goat Bryon Russell) need any reminder that Jordan enjoys taking advantage of any competitive edge he can find:

College students the nation over: you now have new hope. There's a chance — the smallest of chances, but more of a chance than we ever knew existed — that Michael Jordan could one day complete your ultimate beer pong dream team.

Homepage image: Instagram, yaypril