Santa Claus is a peculiar fellow. Watching millions of kids around the world while they sleep? Making empty promises on elaborate gifts? Breaking into houses, damaging chimney structures and stockpiling half the world's baked goods?
Ho-ho-hold the damn phone, sir.*
See also: The Holiday 2013 Tablet Gift Guide
Unless you're an NSA employee or experienced hacker, it's tough to know — exactly — what ol' Kris Kringle is really up to during his 11-month off-season in the Great North. Thankfully, for skeptics and fans alike, there's a sleighful of online tools that track his every move during the on-season, broadcasting his home invasions gift deliveries IRL.
We rounded up a few of our favorites below. Take a gander, and remember to stay cautious this Christmas (also: Happy Holidays.)
*Just kidding. Mashable hearts Santa.

The North American Aerospace Defense Command (NORAD) Tracks Santa program has been a staple Christmas entertainment tool for more than 50 years. This year, the website is getting a high-tech makeover, complete with a 3D pinch-and-zoom globe, games, music and live updates of St. Nick's whereabouts.
The new-and-improved site is designed for Microsoft's Internet Explorer 11, but it will work with any browser. It's also optimized for tablets with apps for both Android and iOS devices.
On the night of Christmas Eve, Dec. 24, the site will enable its 3D globe. Anyone with an updated browser will be able to spin it and, using Bing Maps, zoom in on Santa's stops throughout the evening.
Google Santa Tracker also kicks off on Christmas Eve with a behind-the-scenes look at Kringle's dashboard — powered, of course, by Google Maps. According to the site, users will be able to track the big man's progress and "learn a little about some of his stops along the way."
Users can play games on the site in the meantime, such as a reindeer race with Santa and his sleigh team. According to a blog post, a Santa Tracker app for both Android devices and Google Glass will be available for download in mid-December.
On Christmas Eve, Santa-trackers can search the word "Santa" in Google Maps and find his exact location.

As an addition to its tracker website, Google is also offering a Chrome extension (pictured above), which links to the site proper and lets you activate custom animations on your desktop, such as falling snow, a reindeer blimp and a holiday van driven by Santa's elves.
See also: Kid's Santa Letter Proves Amazon Has Taken Over the North Pole

Both NORAD and Google are keeping Santa active on social media. For NORAD, there are both Facebook and Twitter pages that users can follow.
There's a Facebook page for Google Santa Tracker, though it appears to be largely inactive and it isn't clear if it's officially affiliated with Google.
Still haven't made up your mind about Santa? Take a look at these "Bad Kringle" cards and make a final call:
So that's why he's so hungry all the time.
"What? I've always admired Colorado for its, like, mountains. And stuff. Dude, why do my hands look so weird right now?"
Image courtesy of Flickr, riptheskull
"Go ahead, call me chubby again. Ungrateful twerp."
Image courtesy of Flickr, riptheskull
"Was I scared to jump down the chimney? Maybe a little. But I knew I had to do it. You know, for the kids."
Image courtesy of Flickr, riptheskull
I hope their parents have Santa Sled insurance.
Image courtesy of Flickr, riptheskull
"So then I says to him, I says, 'Look, buddy, if you don't get us a table in the next 20 minutes I'll add you to the permanent naughty list.' I always use that line to avoid paying taxes. Anyway, tell me about your vacay to Cabo! Love the Facebook pics so far."
Image courtesy of Flickr, riptheskull
"Better not be any of that 'diet soda' nonsense."
Image courtesy of Flickr, twm1340
Jingle All the (get-the-hell-out-of-my) Way
Image courtesy of Flickr, riptheskull
Because who doesn't secretly love the Rocky Horror Picture Show?
Image courtesy of Flickr, riptheskull
"Now do you see the kind of crap I have to go through every year?"
Image courtesy of Flickr, riptheskull
"I'm not a role model, children. I'm a jeans model."
Image courtesy of Flickr, riptheskull
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Image: Flickr, Sam Howzit