মিলে মিশে করি কাজ, হারি জিতি নাহি লাজ! এ লেখাটা 'Awake' নামে একটা ম্যাগাজিনে প্রকাশিত হয়েছে, মার্চ ২০১২ সংখ্যায়। ম্যাগাজিনটা খ্রিস্টান মিশনারি কর্তৃক প্রকাশিত। এ ম্যাগাজিনে কিছু লেখা থাকে অনেক জীবনঘনিষ্ঠ সমস্যা নিয়ে, অবশ্যই সমাধানগুলো বাইবেলের আলোকে বলা থাকে। সে কথাগুলো কোরআনের মূল শিক্ষার সাথেও সামন্জস্যপূর্ণ। আসলে সব ধর্মের মূল শিক্ষাগুলো কাছাকাছি রকমেরই হয়। যদিও বঙ্গানুবাদ করতে আলসেমি লাগলো আমার, কোন সুহৃদ পাঠক যদি সেটা করে দেন, তাহলে তো খুবই ভাল কথা। কৃতজ্ঞ থাকবো। The Problem with Anger: All of us get angry from time to time. After all, anger is as much a part of our emotional makeup as love, hope, anxiety, sadness, and fear. Anger that is controlled can be expressed in a proper way and can serve a useful purpose. For example, anger can be productive if it boosts one's determination to overcome certain obstacles or problems. As illustrated by the account above, anger also has a dark side. Some people experience anger more quickly, more frequently, and more intensely than others. When provoked, they may lash out with verbal or physical attacks. Their anger, in effect, controls them, when it should be the other way around. Such unrestrained anger is dangerous, which is why it is sometimes referred to as 'problem anger'. Why so much Anger? The causes of anger are complex. Even scientists admit that anger is poorly understood. However, there is general agreement among mental-health professionals that all of us react to certain 'anger triggers'. An anger trigger can be something that frustrates or annoys someone. These triggers often result from injustice or unfairness. They can occur when we feel slighted, such as through insult or disrespect. An imagined threat to our authority or reputation can also stir up feelings of anger. Parental Example: One's parent have a profound influence on personality development throughout childhood and adolescence. Psychologist Harry L. Mills explains: 'From a very early age, people learn to express anger by copying the angry behavior they see modeled around them.' If a child is raised in a hostile environment - a place where tempers flare over trivial matters - the child is, in effect, being trained to respond to life's problems with anger. Cramped Cities: In the year 1800, about 3 percent of the world's population lived in urban areas. In 2008, that number jumped to 50 percent, and by 2050, it is expected to reach 70 percent. As more and more people squeeze into crowded cities, the levels of anger and frustration are likely to rise. 'The traffic is intense, rendering tempers highly combustible.' As the sources of stress increase, people have a tendency to get frustrated, angry, and lose patience more easily. Economic Despair: The world's economic meltdown has sparked widespread and anxiety. A 2010 joint report by the International Monetary Fund and the United Nations International Labor Organization (ILO) states: 'Over 210 million people across the globe are estimated to be unemployed.' Sadly, most of those who have been laid off are without any kind of safety net. According t o ILO, work-related stress is a 'global epidemic.' People are afraid for their jobs, as a result they are defensive and more inclined to argue with their supervisor or other employees. Prejudice and Injustice: People get angry when they face barriers that limit their access to jobs, education, housing, and other basic necessities. Other forms of injustice can likewise crush one's spirit and bring great emotional pain. Sadly, most of us have felt the sting of injustice at one time or another. King Solomon declared: 'Look! the tears of those being oppressed, but they had no comforter.' When injustice is rampant and comfort is scarce, anger can easily well up in one's heart. The Entertainment Industry: James P. Steyer, founder of Common Sense Media, says: 'A generation that's been repeatedly exposed to intense, realistic violence grows up with more acceptance of aggression, less resistance to brutality, and less compassion.' The entertainment media often portrays violent anger as an acceptable way to deal with adversity, and a new generation of people who are desensitized to violence has emerged. Influence of Wicked Spirits: An unseen force is behind much of the harmful anger on earth today. At the start of mankind's history, a rebellious spirit creature turned against Almighty God. This wicked spirit creature is called Satan, which in Hebrew means 'Resister', or 'adversary'. Later, Satan induced other angels to join in the rebellion. Those disobedient angels, known as demons or wicked spirits, are confined to the vicinity of the earth. Additionally, they have 'great anger,' knowing that they have only a short period of time left. Satan and his demon hordes take advantage of our sinful tendencies by tempting us to engage in 'enmities, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, contentions, divisions, ... revelries and things like these.' Keeping Anger under control: The Greek philosopher Aristotle used the term 'catharsis' to describe the 'purging' or release of emotional tension that results from viewing a tragic play or drama. The idea was that after one's tension is released, a sense of psychological refreshment would emerge. Early in the last century, the Austrian neurologist Sigmund Freud promoted a similar view. He claimed that if people bottled up or repressed their negative emotions, they would later resurface as a psychological disorder, such as hysteria. Thus, Freud maintained that you should express anger rather than restrain it. In more recent years, researchers who test the catharsis theory throughout the '70's and '80's found little or no support to back it up. Psychologist Gary Hankins said: 'Research shows that 'letting out' all of your anger in a cathartic manner often leaves you feeling more uptight, not less.' Let Anger alone: The way to avoid saying or doing something that you may later regret is to keep from getting 'heated up' in the first place. Of course, that is much easier said than done. But it can be done! Let's consider three ways that you can get your anger under control. Reduce Anger's Intensity: To reduce anger, slow down and relax. Try to avoid saying the first thing that comes to mind. If you feel yourself getting overly excited and feel you are in danger of losing control of your emotions, apply this counsel: 'The beginning of contention is as one letting out waters; so before the quarrel has burst forth, take your leave.' Learn to Relax: 'A calm heart is the life of the fleshly organism.' Applying this basic truth can improve one's emotional, physical, and spiritual health. The following techniques have proved to be effective in combating stress-related anger: 1. Breathing deeply, which is one of the best- and fastest- ways to reduce the intensity of your anger. 2. While breathing deeply, repeating a word or phrase that is calming to you, such as 'relax', 'let it go', or 'take it easy'. 3. Immersing yourself in something you enjoy-perhaps reading, listening to music, gardening, or some other type of activity you find relaxing. 4. Getting regular exercise and eating a healthful diet. Adjust your expectations: You may not be able completely to avoid the people or the things that act as anger triggers, but you can learn to control your reactions to them. This involves changing the way you think. People with very high expectations tend to have greater problems with anger. Why? Because when someone or something does not measure up to their high standards, disappointment and anger quickly follow. To combat this perfectionist mentality, it is good to keep in mind that, 'there is not a righteous man, not even one...All men have deflected, all of them.' Therefore, we set ourselves up for a sense of failure if we think that we or anyone else can be perfect. Yes, 'there is no man righteous in the earth that keeps doing good and does not sin.' So, if we pretend to be something that we are not-perfect-it will lead to a life filled with frustration and anger. As imperfect humans, we all get angry from time to time. But how we express our anger is a matter of choice. Yes, by controlling our anger, we can express our feelings in a positive way, a way that works for the benefit of everyone involved. Best of Luck!