(This was written in 2004) On those days, ripples of Ekushey were not heart-felt in my sleepy town (bazaar to be precise) of Barlekha, Sylhet. My first experience was rather vicarious through unauthorized reading of my college-going brother's daily memoir (diary). On Ekushey, his writing were impassioned with an underlying inflection of nondescript defiance. It was exhilarating with a twist of Kafkaesque distortion as if our national psyche was bobbing through a chimerical haze of uncertain identity. It was late sixties. My father who actively fought for the becoming of Pakistan was still nascent with Pakistani nationalism. My brother, notwithstanding his deference to the Pakistani national flag, was bubbling with something otherwise. A generational fault line was immensely palpable. Inter-wing disparity, hegemonic attitude of the khaki-clad-Urdu-speaking-juggernaut and many other maladies of the Field Marshal (Ayub Khan) eventually transformed that strain to its tectonic proportion - leading to a nine-month-long struggle for independence in 1971. In 1971 we emerged as a new nation dedicated to the proposition that WE are BANGALI, that we are bound together by a single language, that we share a common cultural heritage – and such was the promise of Ekushey, and eventually of its natural extension – the Liberation War. II. Islam came to Bangla on the wings of its tolerant brand – Sufism. Cross-religion reverence of “Mazaar Culture” grew out of the inclusive benevolence of the Sufi Saints. Thus we notice a splendid panoply of religiosity at Shah Jalal in Sylhet, or at Bayezid Bustami in Chittagong. With diminishing influence of tolerant Sufi philosophy, we see a hardening of religious chrysalis trying to filter out the trasditional commonality and sharing of religious/spiritual practices. This smoldering process started under the auspicious grace of the British Raj and continued to progress over time. The language movement of 1952 and its eventual culmination into liberation war dampened the process greatly. Post-liberation political mistakes, however honest they may be, gave a sad opening for the defeated (Islamist Right) to regroup and later, despite a narrow following (about 10%), rise to prominence through shrewd electioneering. The inherent weakness of the mainstream political parties rendered a comfortable abetting factor! The 80's also witnessed importation of belligerent Islam that was hitherto subliminal in Bangla. Belligerency was imposed tacitly in the name of religion. In the midst of general lawlessness, they committed or at least condoned great offenses against religious harmony. Hindu temples were desecrated for obvious reasons. Ramna Boto-Mul was bombed on Pohela Boishakh, for it represented a non-religious identity that goes to the core of Bangali-pona (being Banglali). Shah Jalal's mazaar was bombed, for it represented the tolerance of Sufi Islam. In an essence, all that pertain to “being Banglai” were attacked. III. Fifty two years later, as we look back, we see yet another uneasy dichotomy in our national psyche. We still are groping in the labyrinthine haze of an uncertain national identity. An Iranian is an Iranian, an American is an American, an Indian is an Indian – this is plain and simple. There are no ifs or buts! But a Bangladeshi still remains, at best, a hesitant “Bangali.” 02/21/2004