Internet, it's time to get to know Evan Seltzer, a soccer player at Vassar College in upstate New York.
Seltzer, a senior defender this year, has had a nice college career. He has scored a few goals and picked up some assists. Last year, he was named to both the All-Liberty League Second Team and Liberty League All-Academic squad. But his finest contribution isn't on the field at all.
See also: Is This the Funniest Photo in Baseball History?
ExtraMustard first pointed out Seltzer's delightfully bizarre poses and haircuts in his official team headshots.
The weirdness started in 2010, when Seltzer was a freshman, and only got stranger from there.
His freshman photo:
His sophomore photo from 2011, featuring a greasy mess of hair and a creepy handlebar 'stache:

His junior photo from 2012:

And finally, the coup de grace. Below is Seltzer's photo for this season. Note the — err, unique — 'do, which is probably best described as some sort of hairy inverted face halo.

It gets even better. To ensure you dream about Seltzer's hair tonight, we turned his photos into a never-ending GIF:

Seltzer says he aspires to become an elected official because "I really think I have the professionalism that this country needs."

Well played, Seltzer. You may not make the big leagues, but you'll always be a soccer legend in our hearts.
Seltzer 2016, baby.
Images: Vassar Athletics