Keep an eye on your hubby, Angelina Jolie, because Madonna is telling the world that Brad Pitt is in her dreams. During a candid "Ask Me Almost Anything" session on Reddit Monday, the 55-year-old first lady of pop entertained with hilarious and head-scratching answers.
We've sifted through the Q&A to bring you Madonna's 15 standout statements in which she forgives a regretful fan, references her children multiples times, describes the Brad Pitt fantasy, and name-drops Daft Punk, Pussy Riot and Frank Ocean.
See also: The 13 Best Reddit Novelty Accounts
Snoop Lion (formerly known as Snoop Dogg) even chimed in with a question: "When r we going on a canoe ride??" The question remains unanswered, but it has more than 2,300 upvotes.
Following Reddit protocol, Madonna opened the AMAA with photographic proof via Instagram, where in July she lashed out at haters, and encouraged them to unfollow her.

Note: These questions and answers have been edited for capitalization and punctuation.
goldburp: Where should I put these hydrangeas?
Up your ass.
whatthefishsay: What is the last dream you remember that you're willing to share?
Brad Pitt and I were living together, and there was a small blonde child in the bed. Sorry Angelina, it was only a dream.
polvitos: Is your publicist or an intern typing everything for you? Be honest. This is still awesome. Thank you!
My housekeeper. I'm vacuuming. The housekeeper is typing.
victor1707: If you could talk to your 20-year-old self, what would you say?
Don't take any of this personally.
kegstandlolita: If you were a gay man, would you be a top or bottom?
I am a gay man.
ehrgeiz91: Pharrell Williams once said he suggested to Daft Punk that they should produce for you. Frankly, it would be the ultimate fucking collaboration, ever. Would you consider it?
I would love to work with Daft Punk ... Just waiting for them to return my call.
iamjanthony: Ray of Light album helped me come into my own in small town Nebraska, and know that there was love and acceptance in my future. So many of us have had similar experiences through your music. I can't imagine what that must feel like for you. How often do you think about who your art is reaching?
Only when I hear comments like this from people do I think about it. The rest of the time I only think of how I would like to express myself; I think about expression not results.
MichelleCiccone: What is the best present you got for your B-day?
I got a bong in the shape of a penis.
bazayer: Throughout your career you've taken a stand against homophobia, sexism, ageism, etc., but what current issues drive you to voice your opinion creatively?
Censoring of artists, around the world. Censorship — for instance, Pussy Riot.
Whiteboard_Stalker: If you had to live on a stranded island with two other people for the rest of your life, what two people would you choose?
I can't leave my kids behind so there will have to be room for 4.
MrFishpaw: You're coming over for dinner. What the hell do I make?
Make me a dirty martini.
edermdna: Madonna, is [it] true that Rocco will release an album?
He wishes! Just need to get him thru the 8th grade right now. Get him to do his math homework!
davidsmom9310: Madonna I want to apologize for booing at your concert [on] Oct. 16, 2008. You mentioned Obama and I booed. I have felt bad for years after. I think you are a wonderful person and an amazing artist. Thank you for inspiring me all these years.
I forgive you.
gelloh: Can you name one gay guy you wish you could turn straight?
Frank Ocean.
bour1992: Are you [a] fan of Reddit?
HUGE ... I'll be sleeping with my alien tonight.
What is your favorite answer from Madonna's Reddit Q&A? Tell us in the comments, below.
BONUS: The 10 Most Epic Celebrity Twitter Fights
Looking for a way to amp up the drama, Amanda Bynes took her Twitter sass to a whole new level in May with a seemingly unwarranted attack on pop star Rihanna and Chrissy Teigen of Sports Illustrated fame, calling both stars ugly. In one particularly notable moment, the former child star suggested Chris Brown's 2009 abuse of Rihanna was a result of her being "not pretty enough." Ms. Bynes, that is a new low.
Alec Baldwin quit Twitter again this summer following an article by journalist George Stark of the Daily Mail. The piece falsely accused Baldwin's pregnant wife, Hilaria Thomas, of tweeting during the funeral of James Gandolfini. The rant is still causing a stir for the 30 Rock star, as conservative activists demand that Capital One drop him as a spokesperson due to the homophobic nature of his tweets. Baldwin has since apologized for his language but not for defending his wife.
Hell hath no fury like a fandom scorned. British GQ got a taste of that hell when the magazine released its One Direction covers in July. The tagline under Harry Styles' cover, "He's up all night to get lucky," evoked such rage from Directioners that GQ's servers couldn't handle the influx of hate tweets.
It was only a matter of time before these two butted heads. After Hilton posted a photo from an alleged eyewitness who spotted Bynes jumping on a trampoline, Bynes replied with her usual onslaught of "ugly" tweets. Eventually, Bynes insisted Hilton commit suicide. No stranger to death threats, Hilton expressed his concern for Bynes and his hope that she receive treatment.
On May 31, Bynes eventually retracted her statements about the blogger, saying, "you're not ugly! I was lying because we haven't talked in person in a long time. Please stop being mean on twitter! Thx!"
How nice.
In one of the most famous Twitter feuds of all time, Perez Hilton ended up with a black eye after calling will.i.am of the Black Eyed Peas a "f***cking f*ggot." While it's unclear who exactly gave Hilton the shiner, will.i.am posted a vlog insisting it was not him. Regardless who actually threw the punch, Hilton took to Twitter to seek help from the police. You know, because 911 is too old school.
In a more recent Twitter feud, Hilton found himself on the wrong side of Lady Gaga's little monsters when he was seen in the lobby of Gaga's apartment building in New York. Gaga accused Hilton of stalking her, despite his insistence it was nothing more than innocent house-hunting. Gaga's fans also let their claws out, voicing death threats and derogatory comments about Hilton's six-month-old son.
Hilton, who was once friends with the pop star, insisted that the "real" Lady Gaga was different than her public persona, calling her "cruel" and insisting he was "still healing, removing your knife from my heart" after the two's apparent fallout.
Plenty of celebs take to tweeting after a breakup, but it's hard to beat a Kardashian when it comes to drama. Rob K took to the Twittersphere to bash ex Rita Ora, saying she cheated on him with no less than 20 other men. While Ora remained mostly silent on the subject, one errant tweet did surface before it was quickly erased: "Rob’s d--k was wack, I had to go get it somewhere else."
Kardashian didn't take kindly to the insult, hinting he had gotten Ora pregnant. That exchanged remained on the site only briefly before it was taken down.
One party who did remain positive throughout the feud? Rob's sister Khloe, who offered some advice: "Cheaters never prosper @RobKardashian ill be home today... Try and smile little brother."
While Chris Brown was no one's favorite person after the abuse scandal surrounding girlfriend Rihanna, one comedienne in particular, Texas-based writer Jenny Johnson, wanted to let the R&B singer know just how she felt about him. A little bit of harassment went a long way, and it didn't take too long for Brown to delete his account, but not before he tweeted: "Just ask Rihanna if she mad??????"
Brown's account has since been reactivated.
Now that Brown has returned to Twitter, fans can follow his breakup drama with on-again, off-again girlfriend Rihanna. The tumultuous trainwreck that is the Rihanna/Chris Brown relationship just won't go away, with the breakup feud continuing through August.
RiRi tweeted an image bearing the words "If I drop all my hoes for you and we still don't work out you owe me some hoes." While the sentiment seems pretty clear, Brown's "She's not mine if she's everybody else's" tweet definitely left no room for doubt about the reason for the pair's latest breakup.
After the acid-tongued Handler jabbed Cannon's comedy tour, saying: "I just heard nick cannon is starting a comedy tour. Who’s going to do the comedy?" Cannon was clearly a little peeved at the tweet, but didn't really let loose until Handler posted a TwitPic of grape soda with the tweet "pls drink this before you tweet me again." It was at this point that Cannon wilded out (sorry not sorry for that one), letting loose the slew of angry tweets (plus a few more) that you see above.
Leave it to Internet favorite Patton Oswalt to create one of the punniest feuds on this list. When radio host John Tesh sent out a request for new hashtag ideas, Patton Oswalt gave a couple of suggestions, none of which seemed up to Tesh's high standards. Read the full conversation here.
Image: Robert Vos/AFP/Getty Images