This Thursday marks the 10th anniversary of the wonderful, romantic, Christmas-y mess that is Love Actually.
Like a Judy Blume book or an urban legend, certain lessons you took away from watching the men and women of Love Actually court each other have likely wormed their way into your sub-conscious, informing your decision about your next OKCupid date.
See also: 20 Perfect GIFs To Express Your Love
And while some of the lessons should be unlearned as quickly as possible, you could do worse than the film as a relationship guide.
He could say he loves you out loud, but writing it on a napkin and sliding it over to you means he really cares.
Because if that 6-year-old can have a magical romantic moment (Yes, he's actually in middle school but he's just so tiny!), then surely you and your high-school boyfriend were destined to celebrate your golden anniversary.
See: Colin Firth's face when he realized his girlfriend was cheating on him.
Because if Colin Firth had studied Portuguese instead of moping, he would have gotten together with Aurélia that much sooner.
That crack he made about you sucking all the fun out of his friend probably means he's deeply in love with you.
Which is a ridiculous standard. Look at how happy this kid is to have kissed the girl of his dreams. You probably wouldn't be that happy if Ryan Gosling kissed you.
One of the most adorable Love Actually couples met during some kind of clothed sex scene, which is way more interesting to tell future grandchildren than if they were both reading the same Jonathan Franzen novel on the train.
How could you, Snape -- how could you?
If it gets to the point where your boss calls you in for a meeting on the sad state of your love life, you might not recover.
Or you will end up crying alone in a dark office for the rest of your life.
Or you have enlisted the help of a friend to channel Emma Thompson's character.
Not even a giant paper mache octopus can get in the way of true love.
Don't ever let go of the friends who would give up an Elton John party to hang out in your apartment.
Unfortunately one of them isn't if they've just explained the depth of their love for you.
While you sit in your room alone watching Love Actually for the 100th time.
Image: Flickr, Universal Pictures