“See that boy doing his homework in homeroom? He couldn’t do it last night because he was too busy talking his best friend out of suicide. See that girl, with her face caked in make up? She’s bullied, she needs to feel beautiful. See him, the one who wears long sleeves every day? He covers his arms to hide the scars. See her, with the cheap, hand-me-down clothes? Her family can’t afford food for half the month, let alone get brand names. I'm against bullying. Like if you are too.” “-who are you to judge the life i live? I know I’m not perfect and i don't live to be. But before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean!—“ “The Girl you just called fat? She's starved herself & lost 15kgs. The Boy you just called stupid? He has a learning disability & studies 4hrs a night. The Girl you just called ugly? She spends hours putting makeup on hoping people will like her. The Boy you just tripped? He is already abused enough at home. There's more to people than you think. Like this if you’re against bullying.” Sounds similar??!!!! YES!!! The passages are takes from our very own ‘Facebook Likes’. We do like a lot of pages or likes every day, don’t we?? Like other thousands likes we have also liked those pages (I am talking about the above ones). But while liking the likes have we actually thought about the actual messages!!! May be…some of us did…Some of us put those lines as their status also…yeah!! Sound impressive!! Some of us also liked those statuses. Now let us come to the real world. Yes!!! We all have dual lives…one is our Facebook life (which is very much important because everyone is watching me and I have to be good) and the other is our real life (it’s not that much important for us because without some of our close friends no one actually knows about our this life).So now I am talking about our real lives. In our real lives how many of us actually thought about the messages and actually stop bullying people!!!! Anyone???!!! Let me share with you my own experience. Actually when I read those passages, I felt so bad and I actually thought that from now on I won’t bully anyone. But as soon as I went to my University to the very next day, suddenly I saw someone in the street and I started to bullying about that person with my friends and that was giving me so much pleasure that I almost forgot about the promise that I had made to myself on the very previous day. So….yeah!!! Life was going alright for me and I totally forgot about the promise. So…what suddenly reminded me about my promise and brought me here to write about bullying?? It happened in our “Educational Psychology” class. Our respected Sir, Md. Ahsan Habib was giving lecture about “Child Psychology”. Like every day I was busier to poke my dear friend SHREYASHI HALDER rather than listen to the Lecture. But one line just stucked into my head suddenly. And that line was ‘When we point one figure to others, our own three fingers are pointing ourselves’. When I heard that line I really said out the word “WHAT!!!!!??” a little loud. And that one line kept me thinking and researching and brought me here to write. So, before start anything we must know what is Bullying?? What are the definitions of bullying? Is bullying and teasing are same things??!!! “A person is bullied when he or she is exposed, repeatedly and over time, to negative actions on the part of one or more other persons, and he or she has difficulty defending himself or herself." This definition includes three important components: 1. Bullying is aggressive behavior that involves unwanted, negative actions. 2. Bullying involves a pattern of behavior repeated over time. 3. Bullying involves an imbalance of power or strength. The Difference between Teasing and Bullying Teasing: Teasing occurs when you playfully poke fun at each other and neither party feels hurt. Everyone may have a good laugh but it is all in fun. Most importantly, playful teasing is not directed at someone’s difference, such as religion, ethnicity, speech or appearance. (Here some of you can ask then why in Bangladesh “Eve teasing” even exists when teasing is nothing but just fun. It is because in our country we are not so much introduced to the word bullying. In our country what they do in the name of ‘Eve teasing’ is not a teasing, its literally harassment. As soon as the opposite sides are excepting your laughs or fun about their own selves is teasing but when you forcing them to except your views and fun that is Harassment. So the title should be ‘Eve Harassment’ instead of ‘Eve teasing’) Bullying: Bullying is intentional. This means that the bully intends to hurt the other person. Bullying also involves an imbalance of power, like an older child bullying a younger one. Bullying is also an aggressive and negative behavior. Bullying can happen over and over. Bullying takes many different forms: * Taunting, calling someone names * Threats or intimidation * Social exclusion * Insults based on race * Gossip * Graffiti * Coercion, which is forcing someone to do something they don’t want to do * Stealing what the other person has * Physical assault, such as hitting * Cyber-bullying Bullying can have long-term effects such as low self-esteem, avoiding school, and anxiety/depression. So……..Now you know!!!!! Even gossiping about someone is also bullying. It even does not matter if that is you best friend or your younger brother. Yes!! May be they know you and won’t mind but that is BULLYING. You are questioning someone’s self-esteem. Now, some of you can tell me that we do not do it seriously, we do it for our own fun, and we do not mean it. Alright!!! Then imagine yourself a REALLY HUGE AND FAT GIRL OR GUY and you are really struggling with your weight and apparently failed few times to reduce it. So for now you are a STRESSFUL, FRUSTRATED man or woman. You do not get peace in whatever you do.One day, you walk in the street and a group of boys and girls starred at you weirdly and make comments and laugh out loud. How would you feel????!!! May be you will tell yourself softly, “It’s alright honey, they do not know from what you are going through” You hold back your tears and go back to your home or wherever you were going. THINK AGAIN. When you are bullying a person without knowing their stories they might also say the same stuffs to themselves, hold back their tears and passes by. It can be your best friend too or your neighbor or that person who helps your mom in the kitchen (I am sorry I do not use the word “maid”). We all are different people with different stories. We all are unique. We can hear someone’s story and can make a very easy comment. But DUDE!!!!! When it’s come upon you!!! You know it!!!! You cannot live that bullied person’s life and that bullied person cannot live your life. The way you are trying to do something BEST, that person who are bullied by you are also trying to do the BEST for him/herself. An average of 5000 girls and boys commit suicide every year due to harassment/bullying. And the REASON COULD BE *YOU*. Think before you act. Respect others for who they are and choose to be. Putting someone else down will not make you feel any better. I do not care what your intentions are, whether you think you’re joking or not. DO NOT SAY THINGS LIKE THAT TO ANYONE. People are people, and people are capricious. You can’t know how someone will react, so do not risk it. It’s not funny. It’s not cute. It’s not cool. It will not make you any prettier, skinnier, or more popular to call someone else ugly, fat, or unpopular. Think Before You Type. If someone would commit suicide over something on the internet or anything at all, they need help. I’m not saying that I am a holy person and I never ever done those things in my life. YES!! I BULLIED PEOPLE and I GOT BULLIED AS WELL. RESPECT OTHERS….. Remember…..Bullying hurts inside and out…… I AM AGAINST BULLYING…….ARE YOU???