When word got around last winter that budding NFL star Colin Kaepernick of the San Francisco 49ers is proud papa to a pet tortoise weighing in at more than 100 pounds, it caused a predictable mini-stir of Internet excitement. There was a spurt of articles as the 49ers made their Super Bowl run, then the attention died down.
But while other NFL personalities spent their off-seasons relaxing or rehabilitating old injuries, Sammy the tortoise was out here grinding on these Interwebs. Research shows that while no one was looking over the past few months, the reptile has created some excellent Internet content disseminated largely through his appropriately slow-but-steady Twitter feed.
See also: NFL Season Is Finally Here: 25 Must-Follow Twitter Accounts
With NFL season finally here, it's worth re-capping a few of Sammy's top off-season moments, which have him as our early front-waddler for 2013's NFL Internet MVP.
Sammy Sports His Own Niners Jersey and Plows Through a Bunch of Lettuce Like Colin Plows Through NFL Defenses:

Colin Helps Sammy Autograph a T-Shirt Even Though Sammy Is Still Busy Eating Lettuce:
The Historic T-Shirt Signing Is Also Captured on Instagram:

And Here's the Final Product, Which Was the Prize in a Fan Contest:
Finally got some prizes ready to ship! pic.twitter.com/wQJDEJqmoP
— Sammy Kaepernick (@SammyKaep7) June 16, 2013
Sammy Trolls the 49ers Rival Seattle Seahawks, Spelling Be Damned:
Tortiose > “@Seahawks: #FavoriteAnimal Duh.”
— Sammy Kaepernick (@SammyKaep7) June 18, 2013
But It's Hard For Anything to Compare to This Tweet by Colin's Dad From Last October:
@Kaepernick7 Sammy wanted to let you know he is working out and almost ready if AD or any lineman need a break. pic.twitter.com/w5qOXMiI
— Rick Kaepernick (@QBDAD7) October 6, 2012
So there you have it. Be sure to follow Colin and the NFL's other big stars on the field this season, but don't forget to keep an eye on Sammy the tortoise, too.
Lead image: Rick Kaepernick, Twitter