It turns out Leonardo DiCaprio has been going about his quest for an Oscar in all the wrong ways. Instead of playing a bunch of troubled, doomed men on a path to their own destruction, he should have just played the same one.
Official Comedy has taken DiCaprio's most iconic roles and stitched them together into one film that looks more compelling then any real 2014 trailer released so far.
See also: What if Every Tom Hanks Movie Took Place in the Same Universe?
In this piece of cinematic fan fiction, Jack Dawson doesn't die, but things don't really work out for him and Rose either. Romeo doesn't die, but he does turn to a life of crime, and even Gatsby gets to enjoy his fortune well into the end of the 20th century.
Hopefully a screenwriter will get on this and be able to offer DiCaprio the role (roles?) of a lifetime.
BONUS: 32 Weirdest Moments of 2013
Melon skiing at Chinchilla Melon Festival in Queensland, Australia on Feb. 15, 2013.
Robert De Niro and cat Lil Bub attend the Directors Brunch during the 2013 Tribeca Film Festival on April 23, 2013 in New York City.
A bare-breasted FEMEN protester with an inscription on her body that reads: 'Life In Plastic Is Not Fantastic' yells protest slogans while holding up a burning cross with a Barbie doll attached to it outside the Barbie Dreamhouse Experience on May 16, 2013 in Berlin, Germany.
A man holds a giant joint during a march for the legalization of cannabis in Santiago, on May 18, 2013, as part of the 2013 Global Marijuana March which is being held in hundreds of cities worldwide.
Contestants in the men's race chase a cheese down the steep gradient of Cooper's Hill on May 27, 2013 in Brockworth, Gloucestershire, England. Although no longer a officially organised event since 2009, thousands of spectators still gathered to watch contestants from around the world tumbling down the 200m slope with the winner of each receiving a cheese. Injuries such as broken arms and legs are commonplace.
A giant chrome brushed aluminium skeleton of a Tyrannosaurus (T-Rex) dinosaur, made by French sculptor and painter Philippe Pasqua, stands at the pier of riverboat company Bateaux-Mouches on June 12, 2013 in Paris. (
People take pictures of a sand sculpture representing Avatar science fiction movie's characters during the Sand Sculpture Festival in Blankenberg on June 18, 2013.
People interact with a large-scale installation art piece by Leandro Erlich, named 'Dalston House,' is displayed on June 24, 2013 in London, England.
Canadian performer Matias Salmenaho, 26, stands still as axes are juggled past him as the three generation Quebecois circus company, Cirque Alfonse at the Southbank Centre in London on July 9, 2013.
A team goes over an obstacle as they compete in the Red Bull Soapbox race in London on July 14, 2013.
An Indian parrot hatchling is fed by hand in Dimapur on July 24, 2013, after being caught in a forest by a local hunter and offered for sale in the north-eastern Indian state of Nagaland.
Czech Michal Navratil dives for a joke as superman after of the men's high diving final competition at the FINA World Championships in Moll de la Fusta port in Barcelona on July 31, 2013.
A man wearing only his underwear dances in front of a crowd in Times Square in an attempt to break the Guinness Book of World Records' record for 'the most amount of people gathered in their underwear in the Times Square section of New York' on Aug. 5, 2013 in New York City.
Two competitors face off in a friendly fight while drinking beer during the 60th annual Bavarian finger wrestling championships (also known as Fingerhakeln) on Aug. 11, 2013 in Feldkirchen-Westerham, Germany.
A woman poses with a Pigeon and Mealworm burger on a 'Pop Up' stand at One New Change on Aug. 15, 2013 in London, England.
Members of an international religious movement called the White Brotherhood perform ritual dances on the top of the Rila Mountain, near Babreka lake, on Aug. 19, 2013.
Revellers take part in the annual 'Tomatina' festivities in Bunol, near Valencia, on Aug. 28, 2013. Twenty thousands revellers hurled 130 tonnes of squashed tomatoes at each other, drenching the streets in red in a gigantic Spanish food fight known as the Tomatina.
People gather to see a giant Rubber Duck by Dutch conceptual artist Florentijin Hofman at Glory Pier on Sept. 19, 2013 in Kaohsiung, Taiwan.
Volunteers cook the largest morcilla (black pudding) in an attempt to break the Guinness Record in Burgos on Sept. 29, 2013. Four hundred volunteers made and cooked the giant morcilla before serving 4,000 portions.
A devotee of the Chinese Bang Neow Shrine with his cheeks pierced by metal rods waits for the start of a street procession during the annual Vegetarian Festival in the southern Thai town of Phuket on Oct. 10, 2013. During the festival, which begins on the first evening of the ninth lunar month and lasts nine days, religious devotees slash themselves with swords, pierce their cheeks with sharp objects and commit other painful acts to purify themselves, taking on the sins of the community.
This photo taken on Oct. 10, 2013 shows a journalist driving Japanese auto giant Toyota Motor's prototype model electric trike 'i-Road', in Tokyo. Cars that drive themselves -- and avoid collisions -- could be on the market within a few years.
A woman talks on her phone as she stands near works entitled 'Lounge Lover' by British artist Dee Ferris, 'Nia' by Japanese artist Tomoaki Suzuki and 'Blue Milk' by Dee Ferris at the Frieze London art fair in Regent's Park, north London, England, on Oct. 16, 2013.
An aerial picture shows Britain and Irelands largest land art entitled 'Wish' at Belfasts Titanic Quarter in Northern Ireland on Oct. 23, 2013. Spanning 11 acres, the artwork, by Cuban-American artist Jorge Rodriguez-Gerada, is made up from 30,000 pegs, 2,000 tons of soil and 2,000 tons of sand.
A woman on a bicycle watches a life-sized replica of a mammoth being pulled through the streets of Uherske Hradiste, southeastern Czech Republic on Oct. 23, 2013.
A donkey, two sheep and three camels pose with Rockettes outside Radio City Music Hall Hall before their first day of rehearsals for the 2013 'Radio City Christmas Spectacular' and their starring role in the Living Nativity' show Oct. 29, 2013 in New York.
A Pakistani animal handler holds up a stick as a goat balances over it in Islamabad on Nov. 2, 2013. The handlers earn a living by training animals to perform tricks to crowds.
Students from St Andrew's University indulge in a tradition of covering themselves with foam to honor the 'academic family' on Nov. 4, 2013, in St Andrews, Scotland. Every November the 'raisin weekend' which is held in the university's St Salvator's Quadrangle, is celebrated and a gift of raisins (now foam) is traditionally given by first year students to their elders as a thank you for their guidance.
A picture taken on Nov. 5, 2013 in Condeon shows a five-leg female sheep that the owner tried to sell on the internet.
A burning barrel soaked in tar is carried at the annual Ottery St Mary Tar Barrel festival on Nov. 5 2013 in Ottery St Mary, Devon, England. The tradition, which is over 400 years old, sees competitors (who must have been born in the town to take part) running with burning barrels on their backs through the village, until the heat becomes too unbearable or the barrel breaks down, starting with junior barrels carried by children and continuing all evening with ever larger and larger barrels. The event, which has been threatened with closure on previous years due to increasing public liability insurance costs, raises thousands of pounds for charity and attracts spectators from around the world.
Children take the form of a shark with a detached fin as part of a Kids Ocean Day event, aimed at raising awareness on shark fin trade and consumption in Hong Kong on Nov. 8, 2013.
Cristie Kerr of the USA prepares to hit a shot from an unusual lie during the pro-am prior to the start of the HSBC Women's Champions at the Sentosa Golf Club on Feb. 27, 2013 in Singapore.
A woman takes a photo on July 9, 2013 of the Titan arum flower in the national botanic garden in Meise, Belgium. The Titan Arum, one of the world's largest, rarest and smelliest flowers is variously known as a 'corpse flower' in Indonesia where first found, or 'huge deformed penis' under its scientific name, 'Amorphophallus titanium.'
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