when i get back to me, i get back to you

for a regular person its quite late hour of night.sometimes i recall myself being a regular one !..it has been long since things changed though. these are hours i cant describe what it brings upon me.there are lotsa friends online till now..lotsa movies & books to try to concentrate on.but i dun get into any of them..... rather i think about u.i think about our past days together & plan for the upcoming ones.i see myself happy with u.safe up there in your arms again.the warmth all around me.i see ur smiling face..i so want to touch those laugh lines & say that...that i missed u..i missed u every moment..then u just pat my shoulder & say..u were there all the time..no need to get worried.everything ll go alright ..every single thing will set back to its place..& i ll never feel this empty again. i never feel lonely..theres always some feelings that tell me um not alone.i have u..but then i dunno why it strikes me down again that u dun exist..u r not there..its all blank..i am empty..no,i do have you. i see you..everywhere.i have yours arms surrounding me..like fire keeping me safe from the harsh cold outside.but then i open my eyes..i cant find u..i dun see u.i feel empty again. i had all the seasons ..the sun,the rain,stars,full moons, dusks & dawns with you.& i cant sense them anymore when i ever try to imagine you detached from myself. remember the night u proposed me?underneath the starry sky..you told me that you love me. those stars are still there all over the same sky..& whenever i try to watch them now..i feel it hollow inside.it aches so much & so badly,that i dun watch them anymore..for days,weeks & months. that day when u walked away from there..i was counting your steps..each step that took you farther away from me.& when u left,i was still there.waiting for u you to step back to me...i saw u remember the staircase where you used to wait for me standing after your classes were over?& when i was done with my ones too,i came down there..i tried to see your face as early as i could..walking in a hurry to get the glimpse asap....& then u were there...just before me..ohhh..i cant tell u how many times i imagine the scene when i strat to set out for classes now. would you believe that getting to see you was the happiest moment of the day?& then u listened to the endless list of complains i had against the world & hold me like your ever adored fortune & i miss holding your fingers..counting them ..& & & i cant bear to write anymore.. but i ll write to you..soon again...i can see you anytime i want to..i am happy..i really am..just that i cant keep my eyes open. your voice..i dun hear you for so long...can u believe it?well you dun have to..cause i am just kidding.i hear them anytime i want to forget who i am now..without you..i hear you i am sorry..for everything..forever i ll be