As far as international diplomatic spats go, this one's pretty simple. It's also the latest in a growing list of through-the-looking glass moments delivered by a 2014 Winter Olympics that haven't even started yet.
The situation, surreal though it may be, is this: Team USA, now in Sochi for the Games, was supposed to receive a shipment of 5,000 cups of Chobani yogurt to help fuel athletes during the Olympics. But Russian officials are blocking the shipment from entering their country. So the yogurt sits, all 5,000 cups of it, in refrigerated immigration limbo. Meanwhile, a United States senator has demanded its release and safe passage to Sochi.
See also: Sochi Olympics Off to Rough Start Before They Even Begin
Sen. Charles Schumer (D-N.Y.) implored Russian Ambassador Sergey Kislyak and International Olympic Committee (IOC) President Thomas Bach to "permit a significant amount of Chobani Greek Yogurt to enter Sochi so that the Olympic athletes can eat this protein-rich, New York-made food," according to a Tuesday press release. The press release's title reads like something out of a Cold War farce — but is, in fact, real:
Schumer Calls On Russian Ambassador & Olympic Committee to Allow Chobani Greek Yogurt to Be Delivered to Olympic Athletes in Sochi — Currently, Russian Blockage Has Yogurt Trapped in Holding Pattern at Newark Airport
The press release from Schumer's office blames "very specific and unattainable Customs certifications" set forth by "the Russian government" for holding up the yogurt shipment. The yogurt has already been approved by the United States Department of Agriculture, according to Schumer, and simply awaits Russian approval. Schumer also says the yogurt would only be consumed by American athletes and fans after reaching Russian shores.
Chobani is based in upstate New York and is an official sponsor of Team USA. The company has also released a statement of its own.
"Right now, 5,000 fresh single-serve cups of blueberry, strawberry and peach Chobani, and multi-serve containers of plain Chobani yogurt for smoothies, are being stored in a temperature-controlled facility, waiting for the final go-ahead from Russian authorities to be immediately transported," the statement reads. "This is a time when the focus should be on our athletes, so we're just trying to do right by them in getting food they enjoy from home."
Neither the IOC nor Sen. Schumer's office immediately returned Mashable's requests for further comment. Russian officials have so far remained mum on the impasse. A staffer who answered the phone at the Embassy of the Russian Federation in Washington, D.C., shortly after 6 p.m. ET said the office's media relation employees had already gone home.
When asked if there was a different phone number where a reporter might leave a voicemail for a quicker response about the yogurt shipment's fate, the embassy staffer offered this cryptic response: "Not really. I don't think so."
Meanwhile, tweets such as this one from American luger Kate Hansen take on new weight:
Just gettin my last bite of @Chobani before heading to #Sochi!!! Id it everyday if I could pic.twitter.com/hz9gwc1BG0
— Kate Hansen (@k8ertotz) February 2, 2014
For now, at least, Hansen and her Team USA peers remain the victims of yogurt brinksmanship.