AUSTIN, Texas — Put down your iPhone and iced coffee and pay attention, millennials. Kevin Bacon has a very important message for you.
Stop pretending you remember cassette tapes and Ronald Reagan. The 1980s were a magical time and you're too busy swiping for a hookup on Tinder to appreciate the greatest decade in recorded history. Before you try to make some silly argument that the '90s were all that and a bag of chips, first recall the days of VCRs, the Motley Crue and parachute pants.
See also: 9 Pickup Lines Inspired By Your Favorite '90s Cartoons
Kevin Bacon knows the '80s — heck, he lived the '80s.
When he's not promoting '80s awareness, the six-degrees-from-everyone actor stars on The Following on Fox.

Stop by Mashable House while you're at SXSW to meet Grumpy Cat and swing from a wrecking ball. It's at 305 E 5th St. in Austin, Texas.
Mashable's Annie Colbert and Nora Grenfell work at the Mashable House, under the watchful eyes of doge.
Swinging from a wrecking ball at the Mashable House.
The Friskies’ S.S. Holy Shrimp Boat carries Grumpy Cat and others across Austin.
Passengers join Grumpy Cat, the "worst mate" of the Friskies’ S.S. Holy Shrimp Boat, as it embarks on its maiden voyage.
Grumpy Cat delivers shrimp-flavored cat food to Friends of Austin Animal Center.
Eric Schmidt, executive chairman of Google, speaks during SXSWi.
Oscar Mayer's Weinermobile helps keep Austin weird.
One way to get around the crowds in Austin.
Actress Rosario Dawson speaks onstage during a panel called 'Star Power: Innovative Ways to Engage Millennials.'
IBM Watson's Cognitive Cooking makes a computer into your personal chef.
Dassault Systemes uses 3D technology to create a dynamic theater stage. The stage will be featured in Mr. and Mrs. Dream, a two-person play opening in Paris, France.
Cubify's 3D printer shows off its chops.
Mashable's Lance Ulanoff gest scanned by Cubify's Sense 3D Scanner.