জীবনটাই বাশঁময় • “He who can does -- he who cannot, teaches.” ---- George Bernard Shaw • “I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.” ---- Oscar Wilde • “Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.” --- Albert Einstein • “The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.”--- Walter Bagehot • “Don't be so humble - you are not that great.”--- Golda Meir (1898-1978) to a visiting diplomat • “I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.” --- Thomas Alva Edison • “Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.”--- Carl Friedrich Gauss (1777-1855), while working, when informed that his wife is dying • “I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.”---- Thomas Watson (1874-1956), Chairman of IBM, 1943 • "Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?" --Lily Tomlin • "When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family knew someone in the Royal family?" -- Robin Williams • "A woman broke up with me and sent me pictures of her and her new boyfriend in bed together. Solution? I sent them to her dad." --Christopher Case • “It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.”--- Darrin Weinberg • Lady Astor: "Mr. Churchill, you're drunk!" Winston Churchill: "Yes, and you, Madam, are ugly. But tomorrow, I shall be sober." • “I tried to think but nothing happened!”--- Curly • “Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.”--- Fletcher Knebel • “Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.”---Sue Murphy • "I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was, 'You'll never find anyone like me again!' I'm thinking, 'I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you?' " --Larry Miller • "I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific." --Lily Tomlin • "A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede jacket. 'You know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' she sneered. I replied in a psychotic tone, 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have kill you too." --Jake Johansen • "If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either." --Dick Cavett • "I have such poor vision I can date anybody." --Garry Shandling • "If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the video camera and come help me." --Bobcat Goldthwait • Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever. ---- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss Universe contest • “The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.” ---- W. C. Fields. • "I'm a psychic amnesiac. I know in advance what I'll forget." --Michael McShane • "I was raised by just my mom. See, my father died when I was eight years old. At least, that's what he told us in the letter." --Drew Carey • "USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population." --David Letterman • "Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography." --Paul Rodriguez • "And always remember the last words of my grandfather, who said, 'Shit! A truck!' " --Emo Phillips